Infertility to Pregnancy

As we write this in January 2022, we are around 26 weeks pregnant from our 1st IVF transfer, but let’s start by taking you back to the beginning of our trying to conceive journey.

Seven years into our marriage, we were finally ready to start trying to conceive, as everything else in our plan has fallen into place. We had the expectations that within a few months, we would be able to share some good news with our family and friends. A few months went by, nothing happened. As years passed, our excitement for growing a family started to grow dim. That was just the beginning of our infertility journey.

‍Unexplained infertility

We started seeing fertility specialists at various clinics in the twin cities, but we couldn’t get any straight answers other than a diagnosis of “unexplained infertility”. As scientifically-minded people, we strongly felt we needed to find out what the problems might be, so we can seek appropriate treatment. So, we went for lots of testing and hoped there would be a problem with an easy fix. The results were both good news and bad news that the testing did not find a reason we were not getting pregnant.

We tried everything natural under the sun, cycle monitoring, herbal teas, supplements, healthy diets, and weekly acupuncture. None of them worked for us, and we still had no answers to our infertility. We then moved onto Intrauterine Inseminations (IUIs). Four months in, we had three failed IUIs.

IVF with donor eggs  

As the last resort, we embarked the journey to the most invasive option – in vitro fertilization (IVF). IVF is a long, stressful process for women who have been trying to get pregnant. The outcome of each step is uncertain.

According SART’s 2015 report, 23% of IVF cycles result in livebirths for women under 35, with only 11% for women over 38.

However, the success rate with donor eggs is as high as 50%. The numbers convinced us to go with the donor egg route.

Out of eight donor eggs, seven of them were successfully fertilized and three of them developed into blastocysts. Out of the three, only one was viable with the correct number of chromosomes. That means we only had one shot of embryo transfer and according to the clinic, the chance for this embryo to implant to establish a successful pregnancy is 50%. Even if the embryo has implanted, for women of advanced maternity age, miscarriage rate is about one out of three. All the numbers were not in our favor. We prepared for the worst, but try to focus on positive thoughts...

Fertility drugs and combating thoughts

Deciding on whether to take a fertility drug isn’t easy. All drugs have side effects (short term and long term, known or unknown) and have risks involved with taking them. For example, Prednisolone can affect your metabolism, increase the risk of diabetes and change of the bone structure. Some of the hormone drugs are known to raise the chances for uterine cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, blood clots, and dementia in the long run, just to name a few.  The question has always been, are the benefits worth the risk?

In fact, many people are clueless when it comes to infertility and IVF. People often thought IVF was easy and an automatic guarantee and likely resulted in twins, but little did they know the actual success statistics and how expensive, invasive, and exhausting the process was, both mentally and physically, not to mention taking hormone medications that mess up with emotions and potentially long-term health. No wonder some women compare the IVF process to cancer treatment.

We have kept our infertility journey to mostly ourselves, just to avoid insensitivity from family and friends who may have good intentions but don't know how their remarks are landing. Instead, we chose to share our story with a select few close friends who understand what we’re going through. We're grateful they were always there for us.

We’re pregnant against all odds, but it isn’t over yet

Following the estrogen patches, hormone pills and daily injections of progesterone, the embryo transfer, and anxious wait, we found out that we’re pregnant. That came as a pleasant surprise, as I really thought the transfer did not work. At that point, we had been used to bad news in the realm of fertility.  We were gratefully we were finally pregnant despite the odds.

The medication regime has kept me fairly homebound since the day of embryo transfer. I'm fortunate that my work schedule is flexible, and I can work from home. As instructed, I continued the hormone medications for 10 weeks. I’ve been fairly healthy and rarely needed to take any drugs in my life until this day, but these hormones were necessary to support an IVF pregnancy where the embryo was artificially placed into the uterus. On bad days, I felt the radiating pain spasms down my legs, feet and toes from the shots. My mobility has been restricted the entire time.

In the early weeks of pregnancy, I feel like you would have to be very relaxed to not fear that every twinge or flicker is a sign of miscarriage or fetal defects. There’s so much that could go wrong in the first trimester.

Women in their 40s face an increased risk of miscarriage and stillbirth of up to 30% in the first trimester and 10% of fetal heart defects for IVF pregnancies.

‍Pregnancy isn’t all roses‍

When I just thought the worst part of the fertility was over, I’m battling with pregnancy symptoms since week six of pregnancy. All-day nausea, food indigestion, bloating, and fatigue started to kick in. On good days, I could have a couple of bites of my favorite food. On bad days, I felt nausea just about any food I can think of.

Pregnancy is not all roses, but filled with uncertainty, fears and even prenatal depression, as experienced by many moms. However, pregnancy hardship remains the least talked about challenges due to social norm or societal judgement. Pregnancy hormones have created physical and emotional roller coasters for many pregnant women.

According to Journal of Medicine by Cleveland Clinic, prenatal depression affects about 20% of women in the United States.

It’s quite common for pregnancy women to have doubts, not to mention our case that we struggled for so many years to get to this point.  Yet many women chose to keep the lonely three months of first trimester to themselves. I believe that it’s not only healthy but also completely okay to talk about pregnancy hardship. This article on Bazaar talks about this very issue.

Closer to the finish line

Our Nuchal Translucency ultrasound scan at 12 weeks of pregnancy turned out to be normal. This scan detects any chromosomal anomaly (leading cause of down syndrome, trisomy 18, trisomy 13, etc.) and potential structural defects in baby’s brain, heart, etc. We're relieved to find out that the fetal development was normal.

Our ultrasounds continued to be normal. Nausea and fatigue subsided around 19 weeks. Even though we’re 26 weeks pregnant now, it still feels surreal. We’re certainly not out of the woods yet, but we certainly feel more secure compared to where we started. It has been a difficult journey and we’re cautiously optimistic until the baby is born.

Over three years of trying to conceive, numerous fertility testing and workups, three cycles of failed IUIs, 50+ trips to the fertility clinic, 100+ phone calls/messages with the fertility clinic, and one IVF with donor eggs which resulted in pregnancy, we’re proud of what we have done to try and grateful for what we’ve learned along the way. There is so much we still need to learn about conception, pregnancy, and fertility.

If all goes well, our son will arrive in April of 2022 (the year of Tiger).

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